falesia– n. the disquieting awareness that someone’s importance to you and your importance to them may not necessarily match – that your best friend might only think of you as a buddy, that someone you barely know might consider you a mentor, that someone you love unconditionally might have one or two conditions.
Wow, falesia is a disconcerting idea in itself. Just reading that makes me a little uncomfortable. I’m sure many people have falesia early on in their relationships, whether dating or friendship, thinking that the person you think is very important doesn’t feel the same way about you.
I tend to look at most people are equals and try to treat them that way. However, I also get uncomfortable at times when people praise me or thank me for the work I’ve done with SQL Server Central or SQL Saturday. In those cases, I’m sure that the importance we feel towards each other isn’t the same.
I know I have some falesia and I am definitely uncomfortable in those cases.
From the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows